Top 10 Reasons Why I Should Have My Own TV Show

When I was a little girl, I used to wish that I was normal. I used to wish that my family wasn't really my family. I would wish that I was adopted, and my real family would come rescue me and be normal. Obviously, that didn't happen. And I'm not adopted. Aw crap!

For those of you who are avid readers, you would know that my life is a bit out of the ordinary. Everybody from myself, to my crazy friends, my dysfunctional family.... And the boys I date, well, that's even worse. I'm trying to figure out how to have my own reality show because if I simply wrote about these things, I don't think anybody would even believe it. Here are 10 reasons why I think that I should have my own reality show:

10. I don't do anything; I don't make my bed. Ever. What's the point, you're only going to go back in it at some point? I don't clean. I don't cook. That's what "help" is for. If we cleaned up after ourselves then a lot of people would be out work. And we wouldn't want that now, would we?

9. When it comes to guys, I don't know how to act. I like to play hard to get, but usually it doesn't work, because the guy doesn't think I like them what-so-ever. I guess I'm really good at it. And when I do get the guy, well, let's just say it never ends up happily ever after. Or happily ever right now, to say the least. And every single relationship I've had almost always ends in disaster.

8. I'm the only idiot still living at home with their parents. My mother just let me move downstairs to our basement apartment. She will do whatever it takes to keep me home for as long as possible. She buys me nice things to bribe me. Usually it works.

7. I'm the ONLY normal one living in a family of crazies, as crazy as the clan on "Arrested Development," as neurotic as "Seinfeld" and as funny as "Curb Your Enthusiasm." Even the animals are crazy. My dog eats her own crap, and my aunts dog is on Prozac.

6. I work in television. How much fun would it be to see me running around with a headset on, like a chicken without a head.

5. I'm a writer. Just like all great characters on television; Doogie Howser, Dawson from down the Creek, Liz Lemon on 30 Rock... I'm also writing a show about my life. So once I finally get my own show, there could be a show about a show. Wouldn't that be a cool show?

4. I like to party. My friends and I are socialites. We party everywhere from New York City all the way to The Hamptons, and to far away places like Las Vegas. We get in everywhere for free. Well, at least the girls do. We work hard and play hard. We also like to video tape ourselves when were drunk.

3. My friends are as funny as the gang on "Friends" yet full of drama like "90210". People that you could relate to. Oh yeah, and we're all really good looking too. We've got drama, comedy, backstabbing and of course dysfunctional relationships. Some of us are also really stupid (see reason no. 2).

2. The dumb kid. (Read the blog post below). Enough said.

And the number one reason why I should have my own show...
1. My crazy mother... She is your typical Lawn Guyland Jewish mother. (Think Fran Drescher meets Susie Essman). Part time secretary, full time nut case. She thinks that I'm left for dead if I'm out in a snow/ rainstorm, or if I don't come home when I said I was going to.

Message #1: Jennaaaay. Where are you? It's two in the morning? Call me?
Message #2: Jennaaaay. It's ten after two. What's going on? Will you call already?
Message #3: Oh my gawd it's two fifteen now. What is going on!? Are you all right?

Before I go out with friends, she needs to know with whom, where, when, why, and any other question you can think of. She even listens to my phone conversations from the other side of my door, while holding a glass. And when I open the door, she topples over. But these are just a few of her favorite things. This doesn't even do justice!

But I've learned to live with it. Why, you ask? Because it's hilarious. If everyone were normal, life would be boring. Don't ya think?