29 Is The New 69

Ever since I've hit my late 20s, I've had nothing but problems. Suddenly, I have stomach issues which I've never had before, my tolerance is always low so the minute it's cold outside I get sick, and I'm usually too tired to go out at night. At the end of the week the only thing I want to do anymore is curl up in bed and watch CW shows. Instead of going out to eat with friends, I force myself to stay home and eat scrambled eggs with toast, and when I go to work I bring crackers in a plastic bag. What's become of me?

Instead of being upset, I’m rather annoyed. My friends are party animals and alcoholics who wake up in places they don’t know. Find it funny when they throw up in public. Drink at least 3-5 cups of coffee every single morning. And pop at least five Advils to cure their hangover. But meeee, the almost always designated driver, the one who "one time" took too many Advils and ended up getting a bleeding ulcer in college, the one who barely ever drinks coffee/ soda because caffeine gives me headaches, and I’m the one that has to suffer with stomach issues?

Maybe it's a quarter life crisis. Maybe it's anxiety. Or maybe I should start looking at assisted living communities in Boca Raton, FL. Le sigh!