Story of My Life

People rarely change. Happy people stay happy. Negative people stay Debbie Downers. Crazy people will never be sane. And bitter, resentful people tend to stay bitter and resentful, even when things are looking up for them.

Yes, people tend to make the same mistakes over and over again, and whatever happens, they never learn. Just like sitcom characters - Curb's Larry David will never stop being an asshole, Homer Simpson will never stop being lazy, and SATC's Samantha Jones will never stop being a whore. So, when I went home to New York for a week's visit, I've come to realize that absolutely nothing has changed. My family is still crazy. My friends are still funny. And my mom is still up my ass, now more than ever before.

It's strange, but living in Hollywood is like some sort of alternate universe. It's very surreal. (In other words, it's just like Entourage). So, after four months of feeling like your constantly on a bad reality show on MTV, I couldn't wait to get back to real life - New York City.

Since I only had a couple of days at home, I tried to get in as much as possible!

We Are Family
I went to meet all of my cousins at a restaurant downtown for my little cousins thirteenth birthday. But since she had no idea that I was in town, I wanted to surprise her. I mean, like, really surprise her. Once my other cousin texted me "Around the block. Hide!" I didn't what to do. I didn't want to just stand there and go "Surprise!" That's silly. And I didn't want to just be sitting at the table either. So, I ran to the bathroom, and hid in the stall, hoping she would come in. A couple of minutes later, she came in, opened the door, as I jumped out "Surprise!" The look on her face was priceless. And I couldn't have planned it any better myself. "Oh my god... I think I just peed myself" said my cousin. Priceless!

Later that night, my cousins and I went to sing karaoke. On the way there, as we walked the streets of Manhattan, my little cousin decided to do something she always does - approach random guys on the street, telling them that I think they're hot. Yes, this is a typical night out with my thirteen year old cousin. It was actually very amusing until we went into Foot Locker. "Hey, my cousin thinks you're hot. You should go talk to her. But she's really shy. She's over there." said my cousin, to a rather disheveled looking (that's putting it very nicely) Foot Locker employee. I heard this as I was looking at sneakers from across the store. Moments after, the boy approached me, asking if I needed help. And then he looked at me up and down... up and down... up and down...

"Hey ma. So, you single?" Said the boy.
"I'm not. Actually... I'm gay... So..." I responded, as we both awkwardly looked at each other for about a minute, until I walked away. Of course, he continued to stare at me. Dammit! Why doesn't that ever work?

And karaoke was a blast! We went to one of those Korean style karaoke studios where you can rent your own room for a couple of hours. Since it was just our party, we were singing and dancing like crazy. And of course my cousin and her friends sand nothing but Miley Cyrus, The Jonas Brother and Taylor Swift.

And they had these corny music videos playing on the TV. Some of them looked as if people were just video taping themselves, and somehow it wound up on TV at this karaoke joint.



With A Little Help From My Friends
Over the weekend, a bunch of my friends came out to a local bar that we always used to go to. Of course, we had a blast. The night flew by. And all of a sudden, I woke up in the back seat of my friends car. "We're here!" said my friend, as everybody was trying to wake me up. So I grabbed my jacket and stumbled out of the car, went up to my house, and put the key in the door. But for some reason, the door wasn't opening. Hmm, that's strange. I knocked on the door a couple of times, peeked through the window. But something wasn't right. Hmm. Wait a minute, that's not my house!

I walked up and down the block a couple of times, not knowing where the hell I was, as my friends followed me in their car, laughing hysterically. They purposely dropped me off in front of the wrong house! Alright, fine, I'll admit it was pretty funny. And definitely a story to add to our list. See, we make lists of things that we do when we're incredibly drunk. Some items include: waking up in the back seat of a strangers car (with a car seat and baby toys) in a ghetto section of Brooklyn, waking up on the front lawn of your house as the sprinklers are going off, taking the wrong train home and waking up in a town you've never heard of, four hours later... the list could go on and on. But fortunately, I've never made the list, until now.

Even though I had a great time new New York, after a couple of days, I couldn't wait to get back home, to la la land. Yes, it may sound strange, but it really feels like home.