Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

I have all different types of friends. I have friends that are acquaintances that I go out and party with. I have good friends that I’ve known for as long as I can remember. And I have best friends that I just couldn’t live without and would be there for me no matter what. For some reason, none of them get along. And last night was one of those rare nights when they were all together.. at the same place!

Growing up, I always had two best friends. One of them would always live near me who was always my partner in crime, and one of them would always live somewhere far away, but would be the one that I would always tell everything to. And whenever I would have a birthday party and invite my two best friends, they never got along. They hated one another and I was always stuck in the middle. And growing up, best friends came and went like the friends I have in Hollywood. They love you one day, and disappear the next. And then every time I would make new friends, they would never get along with my old friends. And so on. This would be an issue for years to come. And to this day, it still is.

You see, my friend John’s birthday is Thanksgiving weekend. And every year I make the silly mistake of inviting all of my friends to come and party, never thinking that all of my friends would actually show up. In the same place. At the same time.

“That’ll be $8.50,” said the cab driver, as we pulled up to the bar. “Oh, you got this Eileen? Thanks!” said EJ sarcastically, as he jumps out of the cab. “What! Why would I pay for the cab?” said Eileen, whining. “Well, you didn’t want to walk here, so you should pay for it,” EJ replied as Eileen continued to whine “It was ten blocks away from where we were! What the hell, EJ, I’m not paying for this!” “Hey, you get this, I’ll get us a round of waters in the bar and we’ll call it even,” said EJ. And so Eileen paid for the cab ride and we all went into the bar. No, EJ didn’t get Eileen water. She got it herself. And obviously, it was free.

In one corner, there was my girlfriends (picture Blair Waldorf and Co. a la Gossip Girl) and in the other corner - there was my guy friends (think Ted, Barney and Marshall from How I Met Your Mother) - my friend John who’s birthday it was (think Drama and the rest of his Entourage) - and then I had one of my best friends since I was a little girl (imagine Phoebe from Friends). And then there was me.

Yes, I was more than happy that all of my friends all came out for me, but at the same time, it was exhausting! Always getting pulled in one direction and then getting pulled into the other. “Jen, let’s do shots!”… “Jen, no let’s go to the bathroom”… “Jen, come on let’s go outside I have to tell you something”… “Jen, no come with me!”…”Jen, why would you invite them, you know I don’t like them!”… “Jen, I wanna punch your best friend in the face!”

Yes, this is my life. But come on, if everyone were normal, life would be boring. And what fun would that be?