One Year Later...

It was only 8:07am as I ran around the studio, frantically trying to gather all of my research for my segment for the live show. I only had about an hour, so I knew that I had to haul ass. But today was no different. It was just your ordinary day at a TV Talk Show, right before show time. I was on the computer in the production office when one of the supervising producers came in to tell me that the executive producer wanted to see me... in his office. Gulp!

OK - This could mean either one of two things: I'm either getting promoted or I'm getting fired. Since I just got promoted, then most likely I'm getting fired. Wait, what? I can't get fired. There's no way in hell I would get fired. Everybody loves me here!

And so I ran across the street to the offices. My mind was racing as I maneuvered my way through traffic on a very busy New York City street. When I finally got to the office there was a couple of people sitting at a long table. I sat down, and nobody looked happy. And that was when they told me those few little words that nobody ever wants to hear. I was laid off.

Seriously?

Yes, seriously. Last year on this day, to be exact. After I was let go, I went back to my office, slammed the door and just cried. This is what I get for working fifteen hour days, five days a week and never, ever complaining? This is what I get for doing other people's work and not even taking any credit for it? This is what I get for almost getting hit by cars multiple times from doing runs, getting carpel tunnel from stapling scripts, and feeling as if my ass is about to explode from being stressed all the time? This is what I get for being my bosses common sense?

"Hey Jen, can you turn on my TV and make it look like I'm in my office?"

"I'm running out for a while, so can you write our segment? Thanks. Oh, and if people ask where I am, just say I'm in the bathroom."

"Oh really, you want to be a writer? Why don't you write my segment for me? It'll just be our little secret."

"I'm still drunk from thirsty thursday, can you start my script for me?"

OK, I know that I was laid off and not fired, but of course you can't help but wonder, why me? A couple of minutes later, my team and everyone else in the studio was wondering where I was and why I never came back to rehearse my segment. So as soon as I started telling people, we all just started to cry.

Soon after, we came to realize that it wasn't only me, there was many others who were let go as well. It was miserable. Awful. People were crying because they lost there jobs. People were crying because they lost not only their co-workers, but their friends. And people were crying because they probably thought that they were the next to go, but pretending to cry for others so that they don't look like idiots.

I was absolutely devastated. Is this really it? The last four years of my life were completely over, just like that? I mean, my co-workers were practically my family. I started as the receptionist and worked my way up to associate producer in a very short time. I grew up at this place. This was my life.

But that' the nature of the business. It's television. You come, you go, and usually nobody really seems to care. But this environment was different. I've met some of my best friends at this place. And I was lucky enough that this was the first job that I ever had.

Packing up my office was probably one of the hardest things I had to do. People came in and out giving their condolences, telling me how they are going to find me another job, etc. But it was one person who made the biggest impact. "I know that this is terrible. You're probably thinking that this is the worst thing that could ever happen to you. But six months from now, maybe even one year from now, you're going to look back, and this is all going to be a blessing in disguise. You're going to be thankful that this happened!"

At the time, I wanted her to shut the hell up. But she was absolutely right. And six months later, who knew that we would be at one of my best friend's apartment, making a farewell toast before I moved out to Los Angeles to pursue what it is that I'm really after, to be a TV writer. I told her how powerful those words meant to me. I thought about those words almost everyday after I lost my job. Because deep down inside, I knew that all of this happened for a reason.

So as I sit on the airplane coming home for the holidays from LA to NYC, I can't help but get a little teary eyed. Because exactly one year later, there's no where else I'd rather be.