Liz Lemon Who?

Is it just me, or does anybody else have as much fun with themselves as I do? I don't mean to sound presumptuous or anything, but I can make my self laugh harder than anyone I know.

Case in point: I had a free pass to the gym for a week. Since I haven't worked out since 2009, I figured I'd take some zumba classes to shed those extra LBS I put on from the holidays. And besides, we all know I could use a little dancing to help me out at the club.

So I'm in class and as soon as the music turned on, the teacher started dancing like crazy. Who does she think she is, the choreographer for Jennifer Lopez? Better yet, somehow, the entire class followed along with her without a hitch. Even the old ladies, and even the little kids. Pfftt, I totally got this!

We started dancing and just as the entire class turned left, I was turning right. Huh? And when everyone turned around, I was turning the other way. Wait, what! What the fuck is going on!? Why can't I keep up? And more importantly, why can't I seem to at least clap my hands?

Well, there went that idea. After the gym and desperately trying to make myself feel better, I went to get a mani/pedi. What could go wrong at a nail salon?

As soon as I walked in, all of the manicurists greeted me saying "Haiiiii" and got a spa chair ready for me. Now I don't know about you, but getting into the spa chair is sort of an obstacle course for me. As I was about to hop on, I noticed what I thought was a stool right next to it. So, I took off my flip flops, stepped on the "stool," which actually had wheels, and immediately flung me across the spa chair. I ended up doing the worm for a bit when the next thing I knew I was in the water where you soak your feet instead. This went on for what seemed to be five full minutes of trying to get up, but instead getting deeper in to the mess I call myself.

After three manicurists (yes, it took three) to help me up, a pretty girl sitting next to me just looked at me and laughed. Before the fall, I could have sworn this was Katherine Hiegl. So if it were, I'd like to think perhaps I inspired a character for her next movie. And at least I know I can put Liz Lemon to shame any day!